A Tug on Your Heart Strings

My heart aches writing this post.  The kind of ache that swells up into your throat and makes it hard to speak.  I'm not sure why it so hard to write about this, but a friend of mine died this week.  Friend might actually be a stretch.  I honestly hardly knew her.  But her husband just graduated from the same MBA program that my husband is in and I have seen and met her on several occasions.  There is a very large spouses association at BYU and we were both involved in it.  She was sweet.  Happy.  Beautiful.  Friendly.  A really wonderful person.

Anyways...I just wanted to post about this because Alice passed away last Wednesday only 4 days after giving birth to a baby girl.  Their third child, actually.  Their story is heartbreaking and you can read more about it here.  Her husband, who just graduated and has no job, is faced with raising their three children as a single parent (with help from family, I'm sure).  They are accepting donations for help with medical expenses, funeral costs, and the cost of raising 3 kids alone.  If you have a moment and want to know more or want to help, go HERE.  Anything would be greatly appreciated.

Family has been on my mind recently.  More specifically, how I spend my time and make the most of my time with my family.  After all, we don't know how much time we will get.  This is just making me realize even more how important family is.  Makes me want to squeeze my tiny family a little tighter tonight and love them a little more.  Life can be hard, but I know that we having a loving Father in Heaven and that Alice and her family are not alone. 

The Post Where I Try To Explain...

I've been absent around the blogging sphere for quite a while.  And I hate to say it, but I don't really have plans to come back any time soon.

I wasn't panning on writing this post either, but I felt like I should and I'm not even sure why.

So here we go.

There have been a lot of articles lately about women's choices that all seem to stem from the controversial statements made by Hilary Rosen regarding Ann Romney and her choice to be a stay-at-home-mother.

I have had the opportunity to make this choice as well and feel really lucky to be able to be home with my girls every single day.  It is a huge blessing to me and something that I love to do.  I wouldn't trade it for anything.

I have noticed that sometimes my actions don't reflect that choice.  When I choose to spend hours on the computer, I'm choosing not to spend time with my kids and it causes me to wonder if there is more I could be doing for them.  I want to really be present for my kids.  I want to be the kind of mother that really listens, really plays, really talks, and really laughs with her kiddos.  I want to BE their mother.

I know some moms are great at doing all of this.  The blogging, the homemaking, and the being 'present' for their kids thing.  I am not one of those moms.  When I try to do all three, one of them suffers.  So, I chose a while ago to eliminate one of them.  The one that was least important to me happens to be this blog.

If you are a mom you know that spare time is rare.  It's always great when the stars align and both kids are napping at the same time on the same day, but then the list of things I want to do is piled so high that blogging has become a thing of the past.  There are so many other things to do: rooms to clean, things to organize, talents to develop, people to talk too.  The list is practically endless and all currently rank above blogging for me.

I may be back every now and then with some ideas to share.  I still have them.  I'm still sewing and creating.  I still feel creative and inspired...I'm not writing this post as a cop out or a way to limit myself.

AND, I'm not saying blogging is bad or social media is bad or a waste of time.  It just isn't for me.  I can't really be present for my kids or have time to really create when I'm blogging.  I know there are those who can do it all and in a way a wish I could.  But I had to make a choice about my priorities.  I'm sure you all understand.

I've read some great articles recently that also sum up how I've been feeling.  Here's one of them:

Your Children Want You
http://powerofmoms.com/2012/04/your-children-want-you/

If you are a mother or plan to be anytime soon, I really hope you have a chance to read the article.  It is really great.  There are also a lot of really great pieces on the same site that talk about being a deliberate mother.  Some great things there if you have time to peruse.

I hope I haven't offended anyone.  That was not my intent at all.  I just wanted to explain my choice to stop contributing to this blog.  All of the content is still mine and I will maintain all copyrights.  I will contribute to this blog when and if I want to again.  Thanks for understanding.

Sneak Peak

Here's a peak at one of the projectes I've been working on lately....more details to come!

Charlotte

We've been busy snuggling this little girl all week....

BUT...my mother-in-law has been helping me decorate our new apartment and I'll be back with ideas and pictures soon!

Hope everyone had a happy holiday.